—by Dr. Alan Singer
IN THIS SERIES
The anticipated birth of a baby is a wonderful time in a couple's marriage. Even if you are waiting until the birth to learn of the baby's gender, it's a good idea to make tentative plans for a bris if it's a boy and for a naming ceremony if it's a girl. In the most traditional of Jewish families, concrete plans are never made until after the birth, but some mental planning is often done.
Unless you are really uncomfortable about making any advance plans, it's a good idea to contact one or more mohalim at least a month before the birth date. Questions to ask are: availability, costs, type of ceremony performed, use of local anesthesia, experience and presence of a rabbi.
When an expecting couple contacts me, I send them a packet containing an overview of the ceremony, who participates, and what supplies are needed—you can view an example here. I also send a copy of the ceremony I use if I am conducting the service alone. If a rabbi is present, he or she may have a modification of the English readings, but the basic ceremony is very similar.
If you have many unanswered questions, setting up an interview with the Mohel may be helpful, especially if there are some special considerations such as with an interfaith marriage, boy/girl twins, prematurity, and sensitive family dynamics.
Unless you are having a scheduled Cesarean section, or if a bris is being delayed after the eighth day because of a medical concern, you will not have more than a week to make the final plans. If it's a boy and he's healthy, a bris must be on the eighth day—the same day the following week after birth, unless he's born after sundown, when the bris falls on the following day the next week.
Therefore, you should call the mohel as soon as practical after your son's birth. Plans must be finalized as to date, time, and location. You and the mohel will need to discuss the baby's name in English and Hebrew, as well as specifying which relatives and friends will participate in the service. There is also the option of one or both parents actually removing the last bit of foreskin with the blade, guided by the mohel. This needs to be planned in advance to avoid embarrassment at the time of the ceremony!
The bris should be a wonderful experience for all concerned, even the infant. It's a time for the extended family to welcome him, support the new parents emotionally, and give him a meaningful name. Advance planning will help ensure these goals.
Alan B. Singer is a board certified pediatrician with 25 years' experience in general pediatrics and has practiced in the Phoenix area for the past 11 years. He is also certified by the Jewish Theological Seminary and the Rabbinical Council as a Mohel and performs Britot for Jewish families of all demoninations.