In Judaism the age of thirteen years and one day for a boy and twelve years and one day for a girl is considered the age of legal majority. Although girls become bat mitzvah at 12 because it was thought that girls matured earlier, many wait until they are 13 years old before performing the bat mitzvah ceremony.
Boys and girls become a bar or bat mitzvah automatically. No ceremony is required. The "age of majority" occurs, whether the responsibilities and privileges of attaining that majority are exercised or not.
Becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah
Jewish law does not oblige children to observe the commandments—for instance, children do not fast on Yom Kippur. But at thirteen and twelve years of age, respectively, boys and girls become adults in Jewish law and assume all the rights and obligations of fulfilling the mitzvot. Bar mitzvah literally means "son [bar] of the commandment [mitzvah]" (bat mitzvah is translated "daughter of the commandment"). Bar and bat mitzvah are considered responsible for their own conduct and are required to observe the commandments. They also assume the privileges of majority—for instance, they can be counted in the minyan; can be called to the Torah for an aliyah; can form binding contracts; can testify before religious courts; can marry; and can wear tefillin (phylacteries donned for prayer).
Bat Mitzvah
The bat mitzvah ceremony is a very recent development. The first American bat mitzvah ceremony was performed in 1922 for the daughter of Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, founder of Reconstructionist. Traditionally, it was thought there was no need for a bat mitzvah rite because women didn't have the same rights and obligations as men—for instance, they were not counted in a minyan or called to Torah. Today, with the expanding roles of women both in society and in the synagogue, this rite of passage for girls has grown in popularity and is even practiced by many Orthodox.
In almost all congregations, the ceremony for bat mitzvah is the same as for bar mitzvah.
Preparation
Many congregations require a child to participate in up to four years of formal religious instruction if they wish to bar/bat mitzvah in that synagogue. The bar/bat mitzvah ceremony is a culmination of years of study.
Ceremony
Historically, bar mitzvah was not a major event. The day after a boy's thirteenth birthday was marked simply—by calling him to the Torah for his first aliyah. The bar mitzvah ritual to mark this passage did not develop until the Middle Ages. Over time, it has grown more elaborate and gained in importance. However, the core of the ceremony remains the child's first aliyah.
Because the aliyah is central to the bar/bat mitzvah rite, the ceremony takes place on any day when the Torah is read. However, almost all bar/bat mitzvah are celebrated on Shabbat.
In addition to chanting the blessings and reading the Torah portion, the bar/bat mitzvah may also recite the Haftarah with the blessings and may lead parts of the service. It is customary for the boy or girl to give a short speech after the Torah reading.
Traditionally, the boy's father, grandfather and other male relatives would be called to the Torah. Today in non-Orthodox ceremonies—and especially for a bat mitzvah—both parents may participate. Family and close friends also may be called to the Torah for an aliyah.
Celebration
The ceremony is usually followed by a celebration, with food, dancing, music and even entertainment. In America, there is a growing tendency to throw extravagant parties. Certainly, bar/bat mitzvah is an important event and deserves something special to mark the occasion. Many parents feel that such celebrations express their love for and pride in their child and are a reward for all the years of hard work. However, others feel the trend has become excessive and have gone back to simpler celebrations which reflect the heart of the event—the coming of age of a 13 year old through a sacred religious ceremony. Often, they use the money saved for a family trip to Israel or other meaningful project or for charitable donations.
It is up to the parents, working closely with the child, to decide what type of celebration is appropriate.
After the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
The bar/bat mitzvah rite is a beginning—a first step on the road to Jewish adulthood. But the truth is that, for many children, the bar/bat mitzvah ceremony spells the end of their formal Judaic studies, as well as the end of their involvement in the Jewish community. But if this is only a beginning, it's important that parents consider the next steps that will lead their children into fulfilling lives in Judaism.
Indeed, participation in Jewish studies and life becomes even more important after the ceremony. The new bar/bat mitzvah is on the brink of adolescence, a particularly vulnerable time when children begin to search for identity and meaning in life. Jewish tradition and community can provide inestimable guidance in that sometimes difficult search.
Parents can encourage their children to join youth groups, further their studies at a synagogue or school, or become involved with Jewish organizations. But encouragement is not always enough. Parents, too, must consider their own involvement, remembering that their children, even in these difficult adolescent years, still look to them for direction.