inevitable bad luck. The result of a kinehora. The boss calls you in to tell you of your promotion and you have a piece of spinach lodged between your front teeth. Aftseloches, you think. Something like this had to happen!
Alevai (ah leh vai)
"It should only be!" A seemingly hopeful exclamation which is actually an admission of hopelessness.
Chazerai (chah zuh rye) n
Junky, unsubstantial stuff. What you win at the state fair. For lunch your teenager has caramel corn, marshmallows, pizza and pop—that's chazerai!
Chutzpah
Colossal nerve. Theodore Bickel—who murdered his parents, then pled for mercy in court because he was an orphan—has chutzpah.
Feh
A word of utter disgust.
Genug
Enough already!
Goniffn
A thief.
Gornisht
Nothing! What your kid will get for next Hanukkah if she doesn't start cleaning her bedroom.
Hock a chinick (hock a chy nik)
To prattle, to go on about nothing at an inappropriate time.
Kinehoran
A curse in reverse. A colleague says with best intentions; "Looks like you're going to get a promotion, Jack." Kinehora! You quickly cover his mouth, for to utter such a thing is to ensure it will never happen.
Kishnevn
A city in Russia. Any place so far away you don't know or care to know how to get there.
Klutz (rhymes with guts) n
A clumsy, awkward person. A person who trips over things, bumps into walls and has "two left feet." A klutz is a person who frequently trips on his own shoelaces, falls over furniture and manages to drip mustard on his/her lap with such regularity that it confounds the laws of probability. Klutz's, however, are not unloved because they are usually the victims of their own misdeeds.
Kvell (rhymes with swell) v
To express pleasure in a gentle manner. To exclaim joyfully or proudly, especially in boasting about the achievements of a family member. What you do at your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
Kvetchv or n
To complain in a nagging or whining way. A person who kvetches, is a kvetch. The kvetch can never be satisfied; for the kvetch, nothing ever goes right.
Maven (rhymes with haven) n
An expert or connoisseur, often self-proclaimed.
Mazeln
Luck. "That boy has such mazel!"
Mazel tov
An expression of congratulation.
Meshuganaadj
Crazy, mad, insane. Meshugasn
craziness, madness, insanity.
Mish mash (mish rhymes with dish, mash with squash) n
A hodgepodge, jumble, mixture.
Nu
So!?
Nosh (rhymes with Josh)v or n
To snack, munch, or graze—i.e., "Are you still noshing?" A nosh can be the object of the noshing—i.e., "Do you want a nosh?"
Nudnikn
A pest of the human variety, the nudnik drives everyone crazy with his activities. Always present and always in the way, the nudnik is often tolerated but rarely loved.
Oy gevalt (oy geh vahlt)
"May a great power intervene on my behalf." Used in desperate situations like when you get a call from the IRS or your dog digs up the neighbor's prize rose bushes.
Oy veh (oy vay)
A combination of oy gevalt and veh is mir. An expression of exasperation, i.e., "What now?!" or "Oh, no!"
Plotz
To feel so tired, excited or bursting with emotion that you could fall over. "When I saw him after all these years I felt like I could just plotz!"
Potchkav
To make a mess, to mess around, to mess up.
Putz (rhymes with klutz) n
A person regarded as simple, stupid, foolish.
Shlepv
To drag. Not merely move an object, but to accept a greater burden than any person should be expected to—i.e., to shlep yourself to the mall to shop for Hanukkah presents, shlep the load of presents to your car, then shlep them into your house.
Shlemazeln
These are the poor souls who are victims of shlemiels; the ones always having the soup spilled on them.
Shlemieln
All shlemiels are klutzes but are rarely loved because the victims of their "klutziness" are generally innocent bystanders. A true shlemiel is a waiter who invariably spills soup on his clients.
Shlock
Anything cheap or inferior; junk, trash. A schlockmeister is someone who deals in shoddy goods.
Shlumpn
A person who is stupid, foolish, inept, boring and/or poorly dressed.
Shlumpern
A lost soul. The shlumper always wears mismatched socks, a sweater two or more sizes too large, a shirt that is never quite clean and slacks that look as if they were last pressed a year ago.
Shmaltzn or adj
Usually, rendered chicken fat used in recipes such as matzah balls. Also means something overly sentimental as in a schmaltzy movie or schmaltzy music.
Shmatta (middle "a" pronounced "ah") n
A rag or something equivalent. "What, you want to wear that old shmatta?"
Shmear
To smear. More commonly used to refer to an activity with all its related features as in "the whole shmear."
Shmendrikn
Someone who should have known better. A person who thinks a shlumper can be reformed (it's impossible) is a shmendrik.
Shmoe
A shortened version of schmuck; not quite as derogatory.
Shmoozev
Idle talk, gossip, chat. To shmooze is to have a lightweight conversation, one not serious in nature.
Shmuckn
A contemptible or foolish person; a jerk.
Shmutz (rhymes with puts) n
Dirt; as in, "What's that shmutz on your shoe?"
Shnookn
A person easily imposed upon, cheated or pitifully meek.
Shnorrern
A person who lives by begging or by sponging on others; a freeloader.
Shnozzle, schnozn
Slang term of reference for the nose as in Jimmy Durante/Shnozzola.
Shtickn
Literally, a piece. Popularly, a person's "specialty" or bit. Singing is Barbara Streisand's shtick, giving audiences is the Pope's shtick, comedy is Jerry Seinfeld's shtick.
Tsurisn
Difficulties, aggravation, worries, woe, misery. Tsuris covers a wide assortment of problems; tsuris is what nudniks have and are only too willing to share with others. Trouble, Jewish style.
Tush (rhymes with push ) n
Term which refers to the part of the anatomy upon which you sit.
Ungehpotchkeyed (ung geh potch keed) adj
Messed up, fussy, overdone.
Veh is mir (vayz mir)
"I am pain itself!" A most melodramatic expression of suffering, used to describe everyday miseries such as shaving nicks, sinus headaches or acid indigestion. A favorite expression of kvetches and yentas, often preceded by oy.
Verkocteh (fur kock teh), verkoctadj
A ribald word meaning worse than crappy.
Vershtickt
Choking, gagging. The feeling you get when cleaning your freezer after a long power outage.
Yentan
A kvetch par excellence, the yenta will rarely tell you what is wrong and thrives on her ability to complain about absolutely anything to anyone, anywhere. A gossip or busybody.
